A 10-Letter Weight

A simple 10-letter word is starting to haunt me right now. It seems so nimble, so small when I look at it in print, but when it rolls off of my tongue, it carries a huge weight that immediately lands on my shoulders. This everyday vocabulary word delivers anxiety to me, because it seems at this current moment, I cannot find motivation.

I make lists of things to do for a day, for things to accomplish within the near future, for tasks to complete within a specific time frame. Lists, to me, are the stepping stone; these will make me realize what I want, so I can plan it, visualize it, work toward it! But then the list gets tucked away– on a forgotten post-it, in the back of a journal, on a computer document. It’ll be placed in the back of my mind and then I’ll feel the anxiety again when I realize that motivation has not graced me with its gift…again.

Where do you find motivation? Is it right in front of my eyes and I just can’t seem to reach it? Is it waiting for me to lift it off my heavy shoulders and put it to good use? Or is it already harnessed inside me, deep down in the recesses somewhere, just waiting for me to dig it out and thrust it into action?

Either way, here’s to the realization that I need it to continue. That it needs to start working to my advantage, that whatever form it comes in, I need to harness it and run with it, for as long as it may last.

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